Audrey's Lung Cancer Story

Audrey takes a turn for the worse November 18, 2005

I will fill in the best I can what has happened in the last 5 weeks later. I need to write these thoughts down now while they are fresh in my mind.
Donnie and I drove to Galesburg today to see Dad. They installed the new garage doors on his house yesterday. It really looks nice now. Inside looks so small. He still has a lot of boxes to empty. We went over to the Knoxville house and there is still a lot of stuff to move from there. I was going through the spice cabinet when the phone rang. A lady asked if Dad was there. Thinking it was someone trying to sell something I said, "Not at the moment, can I take a message." She asked who I was and I said his daughter. She said that she was with with hospice and asked if Dad had been out to see Mom today. I told her he had and he knew she wasn't doing well. She said that she had been out there and Mom was not responding to anything. Then I went and got Dad and he came in from the garage to talk to the lady. He told her he understood that Mom was doing bad and they talked a little more and then Dad asked if they would contact him when she was nearing death. They said they would try but sometimes it isn't possible. When Dad got off the phone, he told me what had been said. Although we were in the middle of packing things, I told Dad I would take him to the nursing home and he agreed to go. So Dad, Donnie and I went in my van. As we walked in, Bev Clark was there. She came over to us and told us her mom broke her hip. I told her we were there because Mom is on her death bed. It was almost like I was trying to top her story. Her mother, Irene Bruce, has been through a lot. A day after we took mom in on September 9, Irene was admitted because she had fallen down and had contusions on her face and bruises on her body. She was just up the wing from Mom. On a day that Mom was doing good, she and I went to see Irene because she had been moved to wing 1. Irene was not in her room but Mom's bedspread was. We told the nurse at the station that we were sure it was ours so they stripped it of the bed and gave it back to us. A few days later, Mom wanted some scissors. When I asked her why, she said that her roommate wanted to have matching bedspreads and Mom wanted to cut the bedspread in half. I took it home to Dad's and I bought some scissors at Dollar General for a dollar and cute it in half width wise. A few days later when I visited her, the beds were matching.
Anyway, today when we went to see Mom, she was laying in her bed looking peaceful. I had always thought that people who were dying of lung cancer would be wheezing and coughing, but she was laying there breathing lightly. All we could do was look at her. Dad and Donnie left and I stayed behind. I touched her arm as I left. I also took out my camera and took a picture. Like I said, she looked peaceful.
We went back to the Knoxville house and grabbed a few more things and went back to Galesburg. As we sat there, Dad repeated again that he looks forward to having a bouquet of flowers on the table to make it look like a home. He asked if he wanted him to order pizza. I told him I could get a good frozen pizza at the store. So he gave me a 20 and I decided to go to HyVee where I could get some fresh flowers. I also had a box to mail before 5. It was 4:30 so I went to the post office.
When I went to HyVee, and parked the van, I was walking into the store. Coming toward me was someone and as I looked closer, I could see that it was Jeff Ring. He was a year behind me in school and went to my church. I said, "Jeff?" and he looked and smiled. He was surprised that I recognized him. I told him that I think it was is aunt that bought Dad's apartment house but he said it was his sister. He said that they didn't say the name of the guy they bought it from and he would have known it was Dad if he heard the name. He didn't even know exactly where the place was. I told him about Mom and he gave me his sympathies. He reminded me that his Mom died several years ago and his dad died about 5 years ago. We both agreed it was hard to go through. He said he lived in Woodhull with his wife. I told him it was good to see him and let him go on his way.

When I got inside I went to the floral department. I asked the girls if they had any cheap plastic vases. They said no, the cheapest they had was a small glass vase. I told them I would just use a glass. Then the other customer at the register said, "You don't remember me, do you?" I recognized him as Chad Jennings but I couldn't think of his first name so I was silly and said, "I remember seeing you on January 7, 1981" He said, "Yes, that was a long time ago." I said kiddingly, "Don't you remember?" and he laughed. He asked what Sherry was doing and I told him she was working at Dick Blick answering phones. I also told him about mom. He told me he felt sorry for me. Anyway, after he left, I explained to the girls there that his mom was my roommate in the hospital. That is when I remembered what November 18th was. That was her original due date and she didn't have Chad until January 7th. I started crying because I was so overwhelmed by everything. That is neither here nor there. Finally, when I got in line to pay for the flowers and the pizza, there was a girl in front of me. I looked at her and I said, "Barb" and she looked at me. It was Barbara Ball, Julie Wolfe's step sister. She was the one that ran away from her foster parents the Byerly's when she was in high School. She finally contacted her grandmother a few days later. I asked Linda Wolfe if they ever told the Byerly's that she was O.K. and Linda said, "No, they have so many foster kids going in and out, they wouldn't care." What? These people are caring enough to take in wayward teenage girls and care for them, and one of them runs away under their watch, and Linda "thinks" they don't care? I remember I told Wendell Byerly (who worked at Maytag) that Barb had called her grandma and she was safe. He should at least know that.
So, a lot of memories flooded me in less than a half hour. It was almost too much for my brain to comprehend.
Anyway, I got the pizza home to Dad's and he said he didn't save any pans. I knew I packed them and went looking for them. We finally used the rack out of the toaster oven. The pizza didn't quite get done in the middle but it was still good. After we ate I remembered where the cookie sheets were at.... I had put them away! Oh well.
Dad decided that we would all go to the nursing home again at 6:30. When we got there my cousins Cindy and Cheryl Chism were at the front desk with their aunt Beth. I talked to them about mom. Beth reminded me about the 3 good weeks we had with mom, and we did. When I got to wing 3, Mom's roommate was sitting out by the nurse's station. I stopped and talked to her again. She feels really bad about Mom. She wanted me to tell her that she loved her and she was praying for her. I told her that even when Mom is gone, I would still come and visit her. I have met a lot of nice people at the nursing home. I will be back for sure. Dad and Donnie had already gone down to Mom's room. They were just sitting there. Mom looked exactly the same as when we saw her earlier. We didn't stay long and we took Dad back to Galesburg. I cleaned out some things from his refrigerator then Donnie and I left. It was about 7:30. We got home at 8:20. I called Dad to let him know that we made it home. Then, I talked to Sherry on the phone for a few minutes. I tried a new game of www.pogo.com called Quick Quack. It plays like Uno. You "shoot" carnival ducks that either have the same number or same suit. It is addictive. But I had more important things to do. I started writing an obituary for Mom so we don't forget anything to say. Then it came to the part about kids and grandkids. I emailed my brother to see if we should include our step kids and grand kids. Either way is ok by me. I need to get some pictures put together. Donnie and I are getting our clothes ready to take to Dad's on Sunday. We are planning on spending the night on Sunday. Then we will play it by ear. Who knows when Mom will pass? She is not receiving any kind of food or liquid so it should be soon because she really hasn't ate much in the past few weeks. I must say here that Monday night when we went to see her at supper time, she was in the room with people that needed to be helped fed. In front of here was a Ham Sandwich, Corn Curls, and I think it was corn. There was also Chocolate pudding and orange juice and apple juice. They knew she has not been eating. Were they really expecting her to eat a ham sandwich??? All in all, the care has been good. They are just people.

posted by Cindy @ 10:07 PM