Audrey's Lung Cancer Story

Day 2: Watching Audrey

I sat at the computer last night until a little after 5 a.m. this morning. Dad came out and checked on Mom. I asked if I could go to bed at 5:30. Dad said yes so I went out to the side bedroom and just laid on top of the bed and tried to sleep. I woke up at 7:30 to go to the bathroom and Dad and Aunt Barb Perry were sitting in the kitchen talking. I just waved to them and went back to bed after going to the bathroom. Then, at 8:30 the telephone rang.... and rang... and rang. Four times. When I came out to the livingroom, Mom had her feet over the side of the bed. Dad had moved the phone to the other side of the room on Tuesday. He didn't want Mom answering the phone. Luckily she hadn't tried to get up to answer the phone. Dad had stepped out for just a couple minutes and had missed the phone call. They had left a message and it was Hospice. They were sending someone to give Mom a bath this afternoon. They wanted to make sure it was all right. Dad came back in soon afterward. I called my brother Steve on his cell phone to let him know that Mom did sleep peaceful last night. He said he was going to come up to be with her this weekend and he would call later on to let us know exactly when. Then Verda called. Dad told her to come on over and we would have McDonald's Double Cheeseburgers for lunch. Verda did come over but didn't stay for lunch. I called Donnie at 10 while Verda talked to Mom. Later she came out and talked to Dad and me for a while. We talked about cooking things in the microwave. I showed her and Dad how I make bread that is crispy in the microwave. Verda was impressed. Later, she went back out to the living room to talk to Mom. Soon, Uncle Howard Johnson dropped by. He had pictures of the new houses he is having built on the South side of town near their home near Eiker Acres. Since there were so many people in the living room, I came out here and got on the computer. I was going to go mail some packages but I was blocked in by Howard's and Verda's vehicles. Howard soon left. Later I heard Verda tell Mom goodbye and how she will miss playing cards with her. She is leaving tomorrow to go back home to Arizona. She and another lady from Cambridge are going to drive all the way to Arizona. They are both in their 80's. They are brave women! I don't even like to drive through the Quad Cities on the interstate.
Verda had been here for over 7 weeks. At least 3 times a week she, Aunt Barb and a third would come over and play cards or the marble game with Mom. It really kept her mind sharp. (I had taught myself to play pinochle online in hopes of playing with Mom on the internet. That never happened but now Pinochle is one of my favorite games to play on the net. ) To ramble on even further, as I write this (11:30 pm September 8th) I am sitting in Mom and Dad's kitchen. I just looked over in the corner of the room and saw the green felt roll which Mom used to roll up the puzzle pieces when she would put a puzzle together. Several times we would come visit and help her do her puzzle. I will have to see what puzzle is in there and try to finish it some evening.
Back to today, as Verda left she gave me a hug and told me to take care. Aunt Kate had called this morning also. She has a lump under where she had had her breast removed. She had missed a doctor's appointment yesterday but was going to see the doctor today to see what to do with the lump. Dad invited her for the Double Cheeseburger lunch also. So after Verda left, I went up town to mail my packages and go to the resale shop at the presbyterian church. I went to the post office right at 11:30 and found out they close an hour for lunch at that time. So, I got back in the van and went to the resale shop. I saw lots of women there that I know. One was Hertha Mathers who doesn't speak to me but I don't know why. I also saw Rose Burgess. She asked how Mom was doing. I told myself I was going to keep a stiff upper lip when I went this time and I did good. I just told her the facts. Then I saw Lorene (sp) Brownless, and I talked to her. As I was paying for my stuff, Mary Dawson walked in. She is always so nice to me. I told her that I was never very sympathetic to her about the loss of her 2 husbands. But she said that what she has been through makes her want to show sympathy to others. I got out of there a little teary eyed but not bad.
I went to McDonald's and got our lovely lunch of 3 Double Cheeseburgers and a small fry to share. When I pulled into the driveway, there was a social worker at the house and Aunt Kate pulled in before me. I parked out front even though it was garbage day, I was sure they could get around me. As I walked down the drive, the S.W. was getting ready to leave. She said that mom looked better than she did Tuesday. We didn't talk too long though because I had to take lunch in. Dad was sitting at the table waiting for us. He had beverages waiting. I got some chips from the cabinet below the counter and we had a nice lunch. After we ate Dad tried to give Mom some broth. She wanted to hold the bowl herself. At first the broth was not warm enough. I heated it back up and she took a few sips. Then Dad gave her some water. She wanted to hold the little glass glass.
We searched the cupboard for a sippy cup but couldn't find one. Aunt Kate suggested asking Aunt Barb across the yard. Dad was so determined, he wanted to go to the store and buy one. I walked over to Aunt Barb's and only Buster was home. He searched the cupboards and only found a lidded insulated cup. Barb had just came back from golfing and she found a 12 oz. glass with both a sipper hole and a spill proof straw hole. I brought both back and Dad used the latter. Mom puts the straw up close to her mouth but has to be told to put it closer to drink. She really likes to hang on to it.
Aunt Kate had followed me to Barb's and didn't come back in. She was on her way to see Uncle Martin then the Doctor. Not long after she left, I was doing dishes and the hospice lady came to give Mom a bath. I was surprised to see that it was an old schoolmate, Jackie Boone Underwood. I met he outside and she said, "Well, Cindy!" Then said, "Is this your mother?" and I said "Yes". We talked all the way in and then I helped her get wash rags and a bowl. Dad went to the store and I went to the side bedroom, turned on the TV, got out Mom's old Gibson guitar and started strumming while I waited. The bath was soon over and Jackie and I chatted more. Then the phone rang and it was Caroline Smith. She had made a prayer blanket for mom and wanted to bring it to her tomorrow. I said that would be good. I asked again who she was and she said she was Mom's Vice President at the Women's Club. Mom and been looking forward to her first Women's club meeting as president two days ago. Then all this happened. A week ago she could have made it but all has changed. So I told Caroline that I had to go, and I talked to Jackie more and followed her out to her truck. She told me her mom died a year ago Oct. 3. I told her that that will be Dad's 80th birthday. Her mom died of pneumonia and there has been a riff between her oldest sister and the other 5 kids. Apparently, she took everything. That opens a whole other ball of wax around here. I don't know how we will divide up Mom's possessions. There is Steve and I and then there are the Granddaughters and Grandson. I hope we can do this without disagreement.
It sure was a busy day. I can't remember when the call came in, but another social worker came by at 3:15. We had all been trying to nap. She was expected a little earlier but her lateness was a welcome extra 20 minutes rest. She is kind of the person that makes sure we are all mentally healthy. A gal that golfed with mom at Lake Bracken died from the same disease on Saturday the 3rd. This mental health lady wanted to make sure that mom is not feeling overly sad about this lady's death. Dad explained that since they quick Bracken several years ago, they really haven't socialized with these folks so it is not like a close friendship. But she explained it is close to what mom has and it might disturb mom in that way but Mom assured her in her own way that she was not feeling sad for that. Dad assured her that he has no suicidal tendency and doesn't hear voices or anything. I am getting involved in the caregiver mode and feel that this has been the best way to go. The gal stayed for a few more minutes, reassured us to call anytime and then she left.
That brings us up to about 3:45. Dad had to give mom some more meds and them Aunt Barb came over. I told them that I needed to go over to Sherry's and since Barb was there, Dad let me go. Dad had jokingly asked Barb to teach him how to tap dance. She showed her tapdancing moves and I showed what I remembered from tapdancing school back when I was 6. Then I "waltzed" out and headed over to Sherry's. When I got there, it looked like it was going to rain. I had brought my limb cutting hand tool and we went out back and cut the tall branches off the mulberry bush that was growing in front of the northeast bedroom window. We striped the branches for the leaves to feed to my Silkworms. Then she, Daniel and I headed off to Salvation Army to see if we could find cheap stuff for her new trailer. We had to mail my packages first. It was 4:30 when we got there. Mail pick up is at 5. I just about missed them again. Anyway, we got that done and we went downtown. They are installing a new drainage system downtown. The south side of Main street is all tore up from Seminary to the Square. We cut up Prairie Street when I got behind a car with the license plate of Fireof 3. Mom and Dad had talked about a couple from Bracken who had fought lung cancer and won. This looked like an older couple, and with a license plate like that, I am pretty sure it was them. I followed them to see if I could stop and talk to them but they turned and I didn't follow anymore.
At Salvation Army we found a lot of things. I found a Date Phone game that I can always sell for nearly 10 bucks. Sherry found a 3 light track light for 7 bucks. I found a new digital scale for 12 bucks and we found other odds and ends. Two things that I found were a bubba bear with a flashlight and a vintage 1978 hungry hippo game without a box. Neither were priced so I was unable to get them.
While we were there, the rain really started coming down. Sherry's D.J. friend was on the radio saying there was a thunderstorm warning. There had been 2 big rumbles of thunder but there was no big winds, just a lot of rain. It was getting dark from the storm clouds. We went straight back to Sherry's and then I went to HiLo to find some pork chops for supper. I knew Dad had navy beans that needed to be eaten so I bought some corn bread also and sure enough, when I got to Mom and Dad's, he had the beans ready. We cooked the corn bread in a little toaster oven. Before we ate, Dad offered Mom some ensure and some water. Then we ate. Mom sat up in her bed and put her legs over the side. I was afraid she would fall over and hit her head. Dad was also. So after we ate, Dad took her some fruit and fed her some. Then he sat next to her on the bed with his arm around her. It was such a touching moment, I left the table and went outside and cried. I took my cellphone with me, but for some reason it wasn't working right. I wanted to talk to someone. I caught Sherry at home but the phone was cutting out. So I came back in the house through the garage door, snuck into Mom and Dad's room and got the cordless. I called Sherry back and then I called Donnie. I really miss him. It's good to talk to him and the long distance is free.
Later, a little before 7, Dad decided to take a shower. I was sitting with Mom and told her I was going to do dishes. She said we would have to mark that on the calendar. Through all this, a sense of humor. But realized I couldn't do dishes because he was taking a shower. Soon after he came out, I did dishes while he shaved. Later we helped Mom walk over to the big chair with the use of her walker. She got tired of sitting there. She keeps saying they want her to sleep. So we reclined the chair but she stayed awake. I asked her if she could read the clock to see what time it was but she just stared off into space. Then she said she needed to use the bathroom. Dad had me position the portapotty in the middle of the room but Mom insisted she could walk to the bathroom. Dad and I both knew it wasn't a good idea, but we had the walker and decided to let her go for it. We did ok until we got to the bathroom door. She asked if she needed to go left or right. Then we found out the walker is too wide. We told Mom she would have to use the portapotty. She told us "NO!" She would hold on to the doorway and wiggle her way around to the toilet. Dad had me go get the wheel chair from the side bedroom. Boy, that thing was heavier than I thought. I got it up the stair into the side room and then unfolded it for Mom to sit in. She didn't want Dad "pinching" her. She sat down and we said we would wheel her to the portapotty but she got right up and was still determined to go to the regular potty. We sat her back down, put her feet on the foot rests and pushed her back down the narrow hallway. Air hose if everywhere. We finally got her to the portapotty and Dad helped her with her clothes while I went to the other room. She said a couple times she didn't know if she was done or not and finally said she was. Dad tried to help her with her pants but she was standing on the legs. I helped Dad wiggle them back on her and we walked her, with the walker to the bed. Whew! That was the first time she had actually gone potty. We made it worse than it would have been. Live and learn. Mom laid back down and tried to rest.
At about 8:45, I went and laid down. There is no alarm clock in the bedroom so I turned on the TV and watched Fox news while I slept. I woke up at 9:40 and then 9:50. I came out. I told Dad I was ready to take over. We came out to the kitchen and had peanut butter, crackers and milk. Dad felt bad that we hadn't tried to give something to Mom, he took her some ensure. Then he came back and we ate our food. We wer eating, talking and watched the news. Soon Mom said, "She said Grandma." I thought I might have mentioned her as Grandma in a sentence. Dad asked her again and mom said with more concern, "She said Grandma" The she continued to say, "Emily's lost, have they found her yet?" Dad just assured her that they found her and Mom just stayed calm and didn't say another word.
After we ate I called Donnie one more time. I came back out and Dad was watching Jay Leno in the livingroom. I went out there to join him and he couldn't hear some of the punchlines. He kept looking at me and said, "I didn't hear, what did he say?" Then Mom spoke up in a stern voice and said why don't we just turn it off if you can't hear. So we did. We came back to the kitchen and Dad decided that he would try to go to sleep. So he went to bed at 11 and I started writing here on the computer. I didn't want the sound of the keys to bother Mom so I quit until I knew she was sound asleep. So here it is, nearly 3 am. What a day this has been. I get to go home tomorrow.
Mom just woke up with a jolt. She said she needed to use the toilet. She was going to walk by herself. I begged her to let me get Dad to help her. Luckily she waited. I woke Dad up out of a deep sleep. We got things situated. Mom didn't want to use the portapotty again. Dad finally persuaded her. I know some of this is a little graphic but it will let people know what we have gone through.

posted by Cindy @ 9:05 PM