Audrey's Lung Cancer Story

Audrey passes away 11/21/05 at 8:20 p.m.

It's 1 a.m. I guess that would mean it is November 22. It has been an interesting 28 hours. At about 8:30 on November 20, we were called by the nursing home saying that Mom's breathing had changed and that her nail beds were turning purple. Donnie and I were at the house on Park St. Dad gave us a call and said that he would be over. I called Buster's and Barb was not at home. I told him we were all going out to the nursing home. He said he would go find Barb and they would come out also. Dad drove through the drive way at Park Street and told us to follow him. When we got to the nursing home and saw how Mom was doing, Dad decided that we should start an around the clock watch. When Barb got there, she said that she could come in at 10 a.m. We told Dad we could watch her until 2:30 a.m. Dad said he would go home and get some sleep and we were to call him at 2:30. He said that he would call Howard, mom's brother, in the morning to see if he could come out. So I called Dad at 2:30 and he was there at 3. I will transcribe the notes I wrote between 1:40 and 2:30 that night. Donnie and I still had to unload stuff from our van at Dad's Pearl Street house. So we did so at 3:30 a.m. We got to Bettendorf at 4:30 and decided to go eat at Ross's. I will write more about all this later. Before I go to sleep tonight, I need to tell about Mom's passing. We didn't get back to Galesburg until nearly 2:30 p.m. I called the Nursing Home on their portable phone number. I asked to speak to whoever was watching Audrey in her room. The aide asked me, "Do you want to talk to Audrey?" What a question to ask me! I told her I would love to talk to Audrey but I didn't think she was in any condition to talk on the phone! Anyway she gave the phone to Barb. Barb asked us to relieve her at 4:30. We were there about 4:15. When we got there, Mom was breathing very heavy. There was a rattling sound. I asked Barb if that was what they called the Death Rattle. She asked a nurse and the nurse concurred that it was. (I've always liked that word, concurred.... I wish other would do it instead of fighting about little stuff, but that is neither here or there. )
I got use to the sound after a while. It was very rhythmical. There was no shallow breaths, just several labored breaths one after another. They had hooked her up to oxygen again. Donnie thought it was a form of life support but I felt it was something for comfort and the nurses concurred. (There's that word again!)
I called Dad at 5:00 and asked when he would be out again. He said he was planning on taking the 2 a.m. watch. I told him he should come out now that Mom would not probably last until then. So he came out and Donnie and I let him have some private words with Mom. He didn't stay long and we went back to the room. Barb finally came at 7:30. So did Aunt Kate. They said that Donnie and I could go get something to eat and that we didn't have to hurry back. So we took off, not knowing that we would never see Mom alive again.
We went to the Gas Station at 150 and County 10 and got something to eat. Donnie got a sandwich in a bag on the Gas Station Side. While he bought that I ran into Mr. Tarocione my 7th grade Language Arts teacher. He told me that his church had Mom on their prayer list and he gave me a hug. I went over to the Subway sandwich store next door and got the daily special of turkey and ham. I asked for what I thought was sweet teriaki sauce, but it wasn't. Anyway I told Donnie we should go see Sherry. I had called her earlier and she said she had left work early because she could not concentrate thinking about Grandma.
We called and told sherry we were on our way. When we got there, Sherry and I hugged. Then I showed her how I have Gotomypc on the computer. I was able to view my entire hard drive from her computer. It is really nice, but it costs 20 bucks a month to have it, but I have a free 30 day trial. We were also able to work with my webaudio plus. We worked extra long on that until finally I decided we should go. We left sherry's and went back to the nursing home. It was about 8:35. When we pulled in the driveway, I saw Dad's Van in the Handicap parking space. I told Donnie, I bet she died because dad would not have came back so soon. Because it was after 8, we had to use the side entrance. Sure enough, as we crossed the dining area, Aunt Barb and Aunt Kate came walking toward us. "She's gone, isn't she?" I asked. Barb shook her head yes as she came towards me. I asked when and Barb said at 8:20. They had come in to turn her on her side and her eyes started rolling back and she eventually stopped breathing. (At least I think that is what Barb said, I was only half listening, I was just concerned that I wasn't there.) I saw dad down the hall at the nurse's station and went down there and gave him a hug.
He grabbed a nurse and we went to the library and started talking. Barb had called Steve. He said he had called but our cell was off. That is why I wanted him to use the nursing home's number because we don't use our phone for incoming calls. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. Dad said we would not wait 2 hours for Steve to see his mother. I will write more on this later. It is 1:33 and I need to get some sleep for tomorrow. I have typed up a partial obituary with a few facts so the process should go quicker. I need to get some pictures made so we can have a nice picture selection. Because of Thanksgiving, I will have a couple extra days to get things arranged nicely. Right now, I am in a calm state of mind. But I could cry at the drop of a hat. I told Donnie that it isn't the fact that she is gone, it is the memories that make me sad. But we lost Audrey 73 days ago when we had to bring her to the nursing home. We found a little spark of the old Audrey at the end of September and the beginning of October. Then we slowly lost her again. Was it the disease or the medicine? We will never know. Probably both. But she had a good life, I am a better person for having her as my mother, and I will miss her.
And by the way, to that nurse's aide who asked..... "Would you like to talk to Audrey?" My answer now would be a resounding YES!!!!

posted by Cindy @ 10:56 PM